According to human behaviour expert Dr John Demartini, founder of the US-based Demartini Institute, your body language is a much more valuable tool in conveying your messaging to clients and employees than anything you can communicate verbally.
“A person who is congruent, the body language matches their [speech]. If there's no [correlation] there, there's bull**** going on,” he tells My Business.
“If you're trying to sell something you either don't believe in or you haven't really lived, then why are you selling it?”
Dr Demartini tells a personal story that clearly demonstrates his point, and why it is important to really believe in the product or service you are selling.
“About three or four years ago I was in my clinic and I had a guy come in there, and in those days we had Yellow Pages ads. This guy came in and tried to sell me a Yellow Pages ad and he was so bad. It was the worst sales presentation I'd ever seen,” Dr Demartini recalls.
“I stopped him right in the middle of it and I said ‘This is such a terrible presentation, I don't want to waste my time or your time any more. You obviously don't love Yellow Pages sales; this is not really what your heart is. What do you really want to do with your life?”
The poor salesman was taken aback, he says, but Dr Demartini pushed on.
“[I said] ‘You're in the wrong business, you're heart's not here. What do you really want to do?’. He said ‘I really want to be in restaurants’.”
Dr Demartini suggested the young man immediately leave his current job and get a start working in the restaurant industry.
“Eight years later I was with my accountant and I walked into a restaurant and I saw that man dressed up in a suit. I went over and walked up to him … he turned around … and I said ‘Do you remember me?’. He said ‘I'll never forget you. You're the one that made me leave and go and get a job at restaurant … this restaurant is one of a chain, I have eight of them’.
“I reached over and gave the guy a big hug and I said, ‘That's inspiring: you went after [it] and did what you really wanted to do and you excelled’.”
According to Dr Demartini, the same goes for everyone in business and in life: if you are not doing what you truly enjoy, your chances of success are severely limited and you will struggle to get others to join you on your journey.
“All I know is, if you're doing something that you're not really believing in, you're in the wrong business. Don't ever try to sell something your heart and soul [are] not behind. That's foolishness,” he says.
“You're not going to be believable and then you're going to be basically wasting your energy and draining your energy trying to do something and be fake.”